


broken hearts (among other things)

by skuls



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: F/M, Have a nice day, You Have Been Warned, anti-mobatsky, seriously, this is not a mobatsky fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-04 13:30:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6659983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skuls/pseuds/skuls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seeing them together broke his heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> "Seeing them together broke your heart."
> 
> (these were all taken from tumblr prompts. the original is on my tumblr, how-i-met-your mulder.)

Sometimes, he wishes he’d never met Robin Scherbatsky.

It wasn’t a very serious wish. In the back of his mind, Barney understands that his life would be very different had she not been in it. For example, he would never have had Ellie. His daughter who he sees two days a week and every other weekend. Logically, he knows the odds of raising a child with a one-night stand were slim. But still, he wishes for a life where he doesn’t have to watch his daughter walk away on Thursday mornings with her overnight bag slung over her shoulder. Apparently, her mother got married. Ellie refers to her stepfather a lot. He wishes for that life, even though he knows he never would’ve had it with Robin. And he was always okay with that. He’s okay now, with his daughter. He wouldn’t give that up.

No, Barney wishes he’d never met Robin when he hears that she and Ted are back together, and his stomach twists with a familiar burst of jealousy. Seeing them together breaks his heart, and he tries not to be selfish, he really does, but Robin had changed him in a way he didn’t know he could be changed. She opened him up to the prospect of love. He still remembers that bus crashing into him, when he’d still been thinking about Ted in the back of his mind, but suddenly all he could think about was her. Her hair, her eyes, her smile. And the feeling of her lips against his. Before, he hadn’t remembered many girls, but he remembered her. Everything you love, Marshall had said. And Robin wasn’t everything he loved then, and she certainly isn’t now. But he can’t forget about her. 

He tries to stay away as much as possible when Ted and Robin get back together. There was barely a group anyway, anymore. Ted had withdrawn after Tracy’s death, and gotten closer to Robin eventually. And Barney stayed closed to Marshall and Lily - their parenting advice was superb, and besides that, they were the ones who had hurt him the least. Marshall doesn’t pick up on it - but Lily does, and she shows up one night, saying, “You still have feelings for Robin.” Well, she always was able to read him like a book. He tries to deny it for a few minutes, but Lily immediately has him sitting down on his couch. “You know I was always rooting for you guys, right?” she says kindly.

Barney shrugs a little helplessly. “What can I do now, anyway?”

“Wait,” Lily says confidentially. “Between you and me, Ted and Robin have never worked before, and I doubt they’ll work out now.”

Maybe she’s right. Barney gets a call one night, a couple months later, from Robin, her voice sounding distraught. “Barney?” she says. “It’s me. I think we need to talk. You’re the only one I can talk to.”

“Of course,” he says. “What’s up?”

She sighs a little. “I don’t think I can do this.”

No, he thinks, he can’t wish he never met Robin Scherbatsky. Not even for a second. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What’s happening to us?”

“What’s happening to us?”

“What always happens, Ted,” Robin snaps angrily. “I don’t know why I thought this would work. _We_ don’t work.”

“Robin…”

“What about your wife? What about Tracy?”

“Tracy’s been gone for years,” Ted says defensively. 

“I saw you two together,” she says. “You had what… Marshall and Lily have, what, what… what Barney and I had.” Her voice lowers. “You and I don’t have that, Ted.”

He ignores the Barney comment for a minute. “We do,” he says. “Robin, it’s been 25 years. I’ve waited for you for 25 years.”

“And every time we do this, it ends badly,” she says. “I wasn’t what you needed. And despite everything that you thought, I wasn’t what you wanted. We wanted different things. We still do.”

“You don’t care for Penny and Luke?”

“Of course I do, Ted!” She’s angry now. “But honestly, our priorities couldn’t have been more different over the years.”

“Barney has a daughter.”

“This isn’t about kids! This is about the fact that we don’t work! We never have! Your friendship meant a lot to me. For a while, I did think I was in love with you. But this… this relationship, it made me remember why we broke up.” 

“Are you going to run to Barney,” Ted says sulkily.

She curls her hand into a fist, uncurls it. “Honestly, Ted? I’ve been trying to figure out what I wanted for 25 years. And I might need some time to do that.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Maybe I will. But I hurt him. I doubt he wants me back.”

_Maybe you’re hurting me._  “Robin, can’t you at least let me help you through this? Maybe we don’t have to end our relationship right away.”

“Ted.” She faces him, stares him down sternly. “I need time. All right? And I honestly doubt I’ll be back at the end of it. You always wondered about soul mates? Do you honestly think I’m yours? Do you honestly believe that Tracy was just another stepping stone on your way to get me back?”

“Of course not,” he says, memories flooding his mind like a torrent.

“Then why did you tell your children a story about how you met her, only to end it with the fact that you wanted to get me back? It’s fine for you to move on, but not with me. You’re not my soul mate, Ted. I don’t know if Barney is, but I know I haven’t felt the same since we broke up. Not even with you. And I think it disrespects the entire point of your story - of how you found Tracy - to end up with me.”

She leaves. The door slams behind her. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do I make you happy?”

She shows up at his door just after Ellie goes to bed, asking, “Can I come in?”

Barney offers a smile tentatively, and lets her in. It’s been years since they’ve been alone. “How are you doing, Robin?”

She’s never been one to drag things out. “Do you remember what we talked about the other night?”

He nods. 

“Well, I did it.” Robin clears her throat. “I broke up with Ted.”

Barney blinks a little, and nods his acknowledgement. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not,” she says. “I mean, it sounds terrible, but Ted and I weren’t right for each other. _Aren’t_ right. I wish we’d figured that out years ago.”

He does, too, but he wouldn’t say anything. “Does that mean that you’re… thinking about the other thing we talked about?”

“I am,” she says with a nod. “And what about you?”

“Do I make you happy?” he asks her.

Robin looks at her feet. She smiles. “Yes. You do.”

Barney studies her with some slight doubt. He can still see his signature, fresh on the divorce papers, in the back of his mind. 

“Barney,” she says. “I know it’s been a long time. But I think we made a mistake… in ending it. I thought that this would make me happy, but with everything that’s happened, I realized that I _was_ happy when I was with you.”

“Robin…” he starts.

“I’m really sorry that I hurt you. I am. I’ve regretted it for years. But… I can’t apologize for choosing my career. I wanted it both. And my career has really been one of the only bright points in my life since then. So, I regret the divorce. I wish it could’ve worked. But I honestly can’t completely regret it and I’m sorry.” Robin intakes a shaky breath. “I’m sorry, for that.”

He watches her carefully. He’s been waiting for these words for a while. Now, he’s not sure if they’re exactly the way he wanted to hear them, but they are there. They are there.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what it is I want. And I think now that I want what we had back. Or as close as we can recreate it.” She extends her hand slightly. “So, I guess… what do you think, Barney?” 

Barney reaches for her hand. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seeing them together broke your heart.

It’s not long before Ted gets the news. Robin and Barney are back together, Marshall lost his bet, and it’s almost like they’re reliving their years of young adulthood. It’s almost ironic.

Maybe it is petty of him, but seeing them together broke his heart. He’d been waiting for Robin since he’d seen her in MacLaren’s all those years ago. He is in love with her. And since he loves her, he needs to let her go, the way he had before. But the sight of her happy with Barney, the way they’d never been… laid back, affectionate… she even seemed to be great with Ellie. Robin Scherbatsky, who’d never wanted to be a mother. Of course, she was still great with Penny and Luke, and as nice as one’s aunt/ex-potential-stepmother can be, but it still stung to see her goofing around with another child, even though it wasn’t hers, when she’d vehemently denied any desire to have children for years.

Barney comes to see him one night, and it’s awkward, of course. He apologizes first, and brings up something about the Bro Code. Ted rolls his eyes.

“How’re Penny and Luke doing?” Barney asks, indicating he means about Robin.

“They’re fine,” Ted says. “They’re getting used to it.”

“And how’re you?”

Ted shrugs. It feels like an age-old argument that he is getting tired of.

“Our intention was never to hurt you, bro.”

“I know.”

“I feel like Robin is still trying to figure things out, and I just want her to be happy.”

“That’s what I want, too,” he says. He does, really.

Barney pats his shoulder. “Robin misses your friendship a lot,” he says. “We all do. I think that things could go back to the way they were, if you want.”

After Barney leaves, Ted sits on the couch for a while, thinking. Then he stands to leave his house. It’s time he visited Tracy’s grave.


End file.
